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Cultivating a Garden in Your Soul

Margit Cathrine Moller

How to Grow in Your Self-confidence

I say GROW, not ACQUIRE. Self-confidence is a personal quality that can be nurtured like a flower. It doesn’t bloom right away, but if you invest time and energy to grow it, you will certainly experience its fruition.

Those who are into gardening know this: before you cultivate something, make sure you know what it is, what makes it grow, and how to grow it. That is our attitude about self-confidence.

From its Latin roots, self-confidence means having faith in oneself. It is actually as simple as that. It means fully knowing who you are – your strengths and your weaknesses – and finding your lane in life, a life direction that you trust will lead you to your desired destination.

Knowing your strength means knowing what you are really good at and what you are really passionate about, and making sure that you harness them in your life situations. It also means knowing what you really believe in and aligning your life choices according to these beliefs.

Knowing your weaknesses will help you accept who you are, anchor yourself in the grounds of honesty and humility, and make decisions fully aware of what these limitations are. Oftentimes, such a self-awareness helps you decide what situations to avoid because you know that they are not aligned to your strength.

When Oprah was interviewed by Piers Morgan in his CNN program, she was asked if she wanted to run for the presidency of the United States. People have been telling her that she will make a good president based on her values and expertise. Oprah said NO, “because that is not my lane.”

This is a mark of a true confident person – knowing your lane. Never go into anything that you are not good at. Never aspire to be something which does not honor your God-given talents and gifts.

To grow in your self-confidence is to know your lane in life.

In your professional life, it means defining your career path. Oftentimes people aspire to be something they know they will not be happy about. That will not nurture your soul. That will not grow your self-confidence. Your lane is oftentimes the convergence of what you are good at, what you are passionate about, and what is needed by the world today. In your relational life, finding your lane means defining what kind of husband, wife, father, mother, daughter, or lover you would like to be. It also means being honest about yourself to the people you love.

There are lots of exercises about self-confidence and I am sure they are helpful to some people. But the truth is, it is as simple as nurturing a garden in your soul. When it blooms, you can feel it, it emanates from you, and the whole world will know that something good and beautiful is growing inside you.